Being Peter Pan

What sort of boy is Peter Pan? The kind whose coming causes winter to flee and flowers to spring into bloom, whose sorrow causes the clouds to curl and the seas to wail, and whose sheer joy causes the sun to rise after a long night. He's sharp, wild, and tempestuous. He can crow in joy, wail in despair, and steel himself in heartbreak. He’s easily offended, but quickly forgives. Death holds no horrors for him, but loneliness is unbearable. He knows endless ways to fight and escape the pirates, but can’t acknowledge his own emotions, which are begging him to let them grow into maturity, to usher him into adulthood.

I am sure I am not the only one who, as a boy, longed to be Peter Pan and live forever in Neverland. In a way we're very much alike. But there is always a tragic, melancholic tint to the end of his story. By refusing to leave Neverland and grow up, he denies himself true love and the true potential which he has - which irks Wendy. She is entranced by Pan, but realizing his immaturity, she longs for him to be able to grow up, even a little bit, so they can be on the same level. While Wendy doesn’t initially want to grow up, she realizes that it’s the healthy thing to do, and that there are other, different joys to be had as an adult, even if she doesn’t fully understand what those are. I do not think Neverland would be the last magical world Peter would find, if he had the courage to leave it. As an adult, there are plenty of wonders to discover and exult in, if one looks with the right eye and mindset.

Life as we WANT it

How many of us remember growing up and going through school & college & university?

Do you remember what it was like? Do you remember all the dreams you had & what you wanted to do with your life when you completed that diploma or degree?

How many of us wanted to come out of college & change the world & make it a better place? Or wanting to get married & have kids & wanting to change the way people did things? How many of us wanted to change our OWN lives to be able to afford what we never had growing up? Do you remember the promises you made and the hopes you held within those sacred walls deep in your heart? Do you remember the house you wanted to live in & the car you hoped to drive in & show off to your friends someday? And yearning for a life full of adventure & promise!

And how many of us have abandon those stories & dreams now? I think many of us, when we cross the divide between work & study, will give up on those pursuits. When we get into the middle of it all and realize that it was so much harder than we thought. We couldn't see the distant shore anymore, and we kept asking ourselves if our paddling was actually moving us forward or back. None of the trees we see on the promise land were getting bigger or even smaller but we just seem to keep on paddling & paddling & paddling. That's life.

No one has it easy although it may not seem so to certain people we know. We long for their lives & their jobs & their cars & clothes, but we long for it not out of jealousy but to fulfill our own needs, our wants to have a better life. The desire is not wrong. It's just that some of us have to paddle harder than others.

As an idealist, I have always felt that we should not give up on our dreams despite the odds. That hardwork, perseverance & attitude will chart our destiny. That money isn't everything. Easier said than done, right? - To be honest, when times are hardest & I find myself at my lowest, I often question my beliefs & even my own capabilities. The most difficult & embarrassing thing a man has to endure is the inability to protect his loved one(s). It breaks a man to know that. It shatters him. Yes, money isn't everything.. it just helps when you have plenty. And at so many times, that is enough.

But what has a man got if not hope? If we lose our drive, we will see no value in life. And when we see no value in life, we cease to fight for a better future. Futures are designed from hope but built by character. Our values are what keeps us sane & focused. I choose not to give up or compare myself with others despite the challenges. I know that things are difficult now, that at my age I should be at the top of the rat race. I blame no one but myself because these are the outcomes of decisions I made earlier. And so I have to paddle harder & faster than everyone else. For the person that is in her/his 20's, you are still very young. Life is tough & we rarely get what we want. But I say to you: hold on, dream big & act accordingly. Even winters will pass in time. Sometimes we see no way out from our situations and we can do nothing but hang on to hope like a piece of wood floating in the ocean waiting for help... and that is exactly what we must do at times. It's the only thing we CAN do. Think about it: We are already in that situation. Only going back in time will change that. And that in itself it impossible (for now!). Take time out to cry, to shout, to despair, but not for too long because life goes on & believe it or not, we not only live for ourselves, but also for those who love & cherish us. Being sad is inevitable, being miserable is by choice. Some smart-a** out there will think that they are better than you; that they are right and you are wrong. And you might just believe them. Others will always have an opinion about everything. But people with ambition don't give a damn about what others think about them! Many times I feel like an outcast - If not for my deep-rooted values and old fashioned views, then for who I am proud to be. Racially abused for my ethnicity, ridiculed for my background, looked down upon for my economical status, I've heard and been through it all. Trust me, it still hurts & the pain lingers behind the laughter and the jokes.

I know, everyone leads a different life, & life itself deals each different cards. Each person has a story to tell. But we are all paddling in the same direction. And if you have someone to paddle alongside you, it makes the journey all the more worthwhile even if you don't get to where you wanted to. That is something even money can't buy.

The ravings of a lunatic!

As I lay on my bed, staring pensively at the ceiling, my thoughts are everywhere & thus depriving me of my much needed sleep! But what could possibly be playing on my mind at 1.30am?!! - Lots. 

Maybe it's the situation I'm in now or maybe I'm just a cursed thinker. I think too much - that's for sure. But I really can't help it. It's just... ME! I can't seem to turn it off even if I want to. Hahaha...

I can't believe my mind couldn't possibly pick a better time to be so philosophical. Has it got to be now? - Who am I kidding? It's not just now, many things have been swirling in my head for some time.. just screaming to get out. 

There are many things I wanna get off my chest & I should too! So many opinions, and thoughts, and feelings of insecurity, anger and guilt, on so many issues. Where do I stand on this? What do I think of that? I understand that what I think (and feel) & how I do things are not necessarily applicable to everyone.. but I just want to break down, rave like an absolute lunatic about how life can be such a b*tch for about 10 good minutes, collect myself & put the pieces back together again (with a helping hand from someone special) & then get on with life.

Sounds weird right? Life has never been fair & it's tough on everyone at some point. It breaks us, toys with our emotions, and spits us back out again. But, it's good to just fall apart once in a while on your own, just so that you can clean the parts, put it back together again & move forward stronger. 

A Valentine's Day Message

February 14th is here again... Valentine's Day. 

A day for couples, of mushy messages, over-priced flowers and designer chocolates (or in today's trend... designer handbags, earrings, dresses, shoes, etc.). It sounds commercialized, and it ACTUALLY is, but what's the significance anyway?

I guess many just join in the celebrations without giving much thought into the essence of it all - the relationship itself. I'm no expert on the subject, trust me, but in the middle of the hustle & bustle of life, I do know 1 thing - if you wanna make it work, then it takes a lot of effort, a pinch of tolerance & understanding, and a spoonful of humor.  

Relationships, like all things, needs nurturing. I mean, how many of us have fallen into the trap of being mundane? We get so comfortable with our other half that we completely forget how it used to be. The passion fades away and sometimes holding a normal conversation with him/her will seem so hard. The world takes a lot out of us daily; it drains our energy and sometimes even our soul for the never-ending pursuit of wealth and luxury. And there are also some people who work so hard just to get by. 

At the end of the day, do we really need to put in that extra, say 5%, just to make our relationships work? Isn't working hard & slogging it out day in and day out enough to show you care? Although many things are judged on how much you have in your wallet, not every thing can be valued so. Working hard and earning mega bucks doesn't show how much you care; it just means you're good at your job. And if you have a family, it becomes your obligation. We each have choices in our life regardless of who you are or where you're from. The ability to affect your life and the life of another lies within us and not on external factors. If you want to make things work, you have got to go out there and prove it by actually doing something. 

So... to the guys out there: don't take your woman for granted. They gave you their heart and trusted you not to break it. It's something they value very much.

And to the girls: don't take advantage of your man. They don't owe you anything. Although you settled for him in the midst of searching for Prince Charming, please remember that you might not be Snow White either. As much as you accepted him for what he is, so did he with all your flaws and pimples as well.

So value your other half and make a difference... not because you should, but because you can. 

This is my December!

Today, 1st December, marks the beginning of the end to 2011. We are left with a mere 31 days and counting to the start of a new year, new promises & renewed hope.

But the focus should not be on the coming year. No, not yet!

For me, I view the next 31 days as the most crucial time of the year. Simply put, we have 31 days to make the most of 2011 so that we may leave it as we see fit. For those who've had a tough year, you can either reflect on the past 11 months and spend the remaining days cursing your luck while the clock ticks down on your precious time, OR you can make use of these 31 days to make plans for the next year with optimism. For those who've enjoyed the past 11 months of their life, make it 12 & bring that joy into the next year.

You see, we decide how we want to live our life, how we want to start new years and end the old ones. It's too easy for us to be judgemental and cynical towards life. We always complain & linger over the past without ever looking forward, constantly looking back over our shoulders. Before we know it, we've never really enjoyed the scenery that passes us by on our journey. Sceneries that include family, friends and moments that can never be repeated.

For me, I'm going to try and make the most of the next 31 days. How about you?